Bura Na Maano … Holi Hai …

Fanfiction has become a part of my life in recent years, and I have until now been the silent in-awe-of-the-writer-type reader. Today, on the occasion of Holi, I would like to dedicate my first ever story to one of my dear friends who pushed me to write … so from one crazy pankhi to my Sankadevi and fellow fangirls … HAPPY HOLI!!!

Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi?

Ananya: Oh shut up will you? Stop acting cheesy. Gabbar Singh must be rolling in his grave. Let me watch my show in peace!

Manav: Why are you even watching this crap? Aren’t you fed up with all this pyaar-nafrat business? Hero-heroine milte hai, bichadte hai … villain/vamp/daadi … song and dance … almost hug, almost kiss, almost slap … che mahine walli fast-track shaadi … redemption… rinse, spin, repeat. Manik….Nandini….Nandini….Manik….Arnav….Khushi….Khushi….Arnav….Zaroon…Kashaf…Kashaf….Zaroon. Did I miss anyone? Oh haan, Damon and Elena. Naa those guys are tolerable. Weekly show jo hain. Wait, no, that show is unhealthy viewing too. I mean who says, “You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger.” That too, a good-looking bad-boy with a husky voice who loves to smirk. Vamps kaafi nahi the kya, ki ab vampires ko bhi tolerate karna padh raha hai? (cringes)

Ananya: (fumes) No one is forcing you to watch. Go play some video game on your PlayStation or bore someone on Twitter with your wisecracks. I have been looking forward to this track ok. Holi aa rahi hai. Pretty sure it is going to be epic, since they have “broken up” and Manik “hates” her. Angst best hota hai. Remember IPKKND ka Holi track? Inhibitions choomantar; nafrat out, pyaar in. Sigh!

Manav: How can I forget? (*whispers*, Will you or your Sankadevi friends ever let me forget anything related to that show? Shit did I just say Sankadevi? Haye Devi Maiya!)

Ananya: Kya? What are you mumbling about?

Manav: Nothing, nothing. I was just saying ki yes, of course I remember; bhaang, drunk Khushi, drunk Arnav, poolside confessions, humhari dil ki dhadkaane ek ho jaati hai and all that jazz. You made me watch that episode live and all the repeats too. We were not even married then. My poor mother thought that I needed professional help; watching the same episode, a desi soap episode, over and over again.

Ananya: Haan na. So awesome that episode was. My ArHi lost in each other. Baaki sab jaaye bhaad mein. All thanks to Snakewa and his “brilliant” plan. LOL, humhara favourite Cupid.

Manav: (shakes his head) Oye! Don’t get lost in ArHi duniya now. Pata chala, you again start (over)thinking about all the different tracks ArHi could have and should have had, and you have equally mad friends also who will stoke this fire (*mumbles* stupid WhatsApp group). Asli duniya beckons, Anu. Dinner mein kya hai?

Ananya: Food, food, food. That’s all you can think about na? Sometimes I think you should have got married to food only. Raat din, that’s all you want. Dekha jaaye toh, you would get along very well with Barun and Parth. Teeno can sit together and gush over their first love. Khaana!!!

Manav: Excuse me. At least, food is better than this desi show nonsense. I may not be a fan of Barun or Parth but must admit that they are smart dudes. Food equals sukhi jeevan. These shows’ only purpose is to depress the audience and create false expectations regarding love. Normal human beings don’t behave like that. I’m not going to lift you up in my arms or run behind you (Main roz gym jaata hoon, so I don’t need more exercise), or make jalebis for you (umm…jalebis…don’t get distracted Manav), or sing for you (LOL…Me and sing? Bathroom mein gaa sakta hoon…Hmm…Anu and me together  in the shower…that sounds like a plan…wasn’t there a bathroom scene in that KY2 walla show?), or buy a gazillion gifts for you (Ambani hoon kya?). Koi hopes mat rakhna.

Ananya: Do I look like a fool to you? Umm…don’t answer that question. Don’t worry, I have zero expectations from you. You are the most unromantic person in the world. Well actually not true, you used to be romantic when we were dating but shaadi ke baad pata nahi kya hua. Anyway, why do you think I watch these shows and romcoms? To satiate the hunger for true romance that I am missing in asli duniya. Hmph.

Manav: Whatever. Kal Holi hai, woh bhi pehli Holi after marriage, so you better get to work. Kal jaldi uthna hai. Puja waghera karna hai. Don’t crib later ki sab gadbad ho gaya, and mom will get upset. After all, you love being the favourite bahu. Sometimes I think ki my parents have forgotten they have a son, considering how they can’t just stop praising you all the time.

Ananya: Stop being such a cry-baby. Main hoon hi itni perfect, of course your parents love me. Manav, it is not even 7 pm, so don’t stress. Main sab kuch kar loongi. (*whispers* as usual)

Manav: Kya kaha tumne?

Ananya: Nothing, nothing. I will go prepare dinner. I’m making baingan ka bharta. Your favourite. (smirks)

Manav: Ugh. Punish kyun kar rahi ho? Ok fine, watch your MaNan. I am going out. Bye.

Ananya: Haha. That was easy. Why does he irritate me so much? College mein toh aisa nahi tha. Itna seedha tha. The perfect engineering student; sweet, smart, considerate and funny. Mere peeche peeche ghoomta tha.  I remember him being jealous of my love for Arnav (Barun). LOL. Arnav ko copy karne ki koshish karta tha. Mera buddu. Shaadi karke galti ki kya? He has started taking me for granted. (frowns)

Manav: Show ab tak khatam ho gaya hoga na? Chalo, safe to go back home now. Sherni won’t attack.  Mujhe laga ki after IPKKND, Anu would be done with this nonsense. It was so difficult to get her to stop obsessing over that Barun dude. Kitna kuch karna pada to get her to notice me and forget that Bozo. Ab kya, has she fallen for that Parth? What the! Umm…not what the! (shakes his head)

Ananya: Where were you? Khaana thanda ho gaya. Chalo let’s eat and sleep. As you said, tomorrow will be a busy day.

Manav: Ya let’s eat. Uhh…Anu, yeh lo. (hands her a brown packet)

Ananya: Yeh kya hai? (opens the packet) JALEBI!!!!

Manav: Anu! Stop screaming, I will turn deaf. Dessert mein kuch nahi tha, so I bought them.

Ananya:  Aww such a sweetie you are. Scared that your sherni will give you a tough time if you don’t apologize… (gives Manav a peck on the cheek)

Manav: Who said anything about an apology? Btw we are married now, what is with these pecks on the cheek? (comes close for a real kiss)

Ananya: Manav, behave yourself. Chup chaap khaana khao aur so jao.

Manav: Tease! Fine, let’s eat.

The next morning…..

Manav: Good morning madam. Happy Holi, Anu. (applies colour on Anu’s cheeks)

Ananya:  (rubs eyes and yawns) Good morning Manav. Oh ho, jyada colour mat dalna. Mom and Dad must be reaching in some time. Kitna kaam karna hai. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?

Manav: Rajdhani chup rahogi? It is not late. You have plenty of time to arrange everything. Mujhe wish toh karo. Kaisi biwi ho tum? (sulks)

Ananya: Fine, fine. Ab moonh phulaake mat baithna. Happy Holi, Manav (applies colour on Manav’s cheeks)

Manav: (smiles) Chalo, mujhe bhook lagi hai. Breakfast karte hai.

Ananya: (slaps her forehead) Not again! Phir khaana. Bhagwan mujhe iss food monster se bacha lo ….

Manav: Oye nautanki. Those serials are really affecting you haan. Acting all OTT. Come on, utho warna…

Ananya: Warna kya? I am not scared of you ok!

Manav: Oh really? Well, I warned you…. (lifts Anu up into his arms)

Ananya: Manav!!! Have you gone mad? Put me down.

Manav: No I won’t.  (carries her till the dining table and puts her on a chair)

Ananya: Ho gaya? You need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist for these mood swings. Jalebis last night and today you are lifting me up in your arms. Tum theek ho na? Theek ho na tum?

Manav: Ugh not those lame lines. Can you BE more of a drama queen? (goes to the kitchen and returns with several covered bowls)

Ananya: Yeh sab kya hai? Don’t tell me you cooked? Hey Bhagwan, is this going to be my last Holi?

Manav: Haha very funny…not! Woh I woke up early, so when on my jog, I picked up some breakfast from Guptaji’s shop.

Ananya: Guptaji? Oh my God, did you get aloo puri, dahi vade and boondi? Yum! (excitedly removes the lids from the bowls)

Manav: Obviously, aur kya laata? Chalo eat fast, phir you need to bathe and get ready. Mom and dad will be here soon for the puja.

Ananya: Oh haan. (attacks the food)

Manav: I will clear the dishes. You go get ready.

Ananya: Thank you, Manav. Tum itne bhi bure nahi ho. Hehe. (gives him a hug and runs off)

Manav: Whatever (smirks)

Ananya:  (notices a box on the bed) Ab yeh kya hai? (opens the box to find a beautiful sari and matching jewellery)

Manav: I hope she likes the sari … iss ladki ka kuch bharosa nahi … moody hai, shayad pasand aaye, shayad nahi.

Ananya: MANAV!!!!

Manav: Kya hua? Chilla kyun rahi ho? Listen, I told you to not scream na, premature hearing loss ho jayega. Anyway I irritate you normally. Imagine how irritating a deaf me would be.

Ananya: Oh shut up, will you. Har bhaar expert comments dena zaroori hain kya? I love the sari, par…

Manav: Par kya? I am not going to exchange it ok. Tumhare bahut saare nakhre hain. Yeh hi pehenna padega.

Ananya: Poori baat toh suno…ugh…I love the sari par yeh sab kyun, special occasion toh nahi hai? I mean you know I just joke around right? You are a good man, and I don’t expect you to be like those serial walle husbands.

Manav: Kyun matlab? Pehli Holi post marriage, toh special occasion hi ho gaya na. Also, please insult na karo by comparing me with those serial walle patis. Jaldi tayyar ho jao, mom just called. They are reaching in an hour.

Ananya: Ok. I will get ready soon.

Manav: Theek hai. I will go check if everything is in place for the puja.

Ananya: Manav, where are you? (notices him on the floor near the rangoli)

Manav: Anu, main yaha hoon. Come here.

Ananya: (sees something written next to the rangoli) Manan forever! (starts laughing)

Manav: Oye, why are you laughing? (acts pissed)

Ananya: Aww, I didn’t know you are a closet fan of KY2 and Manan. So sweet (pulls Manav’s cheeks)

Manav: Mujhe pata tha ki tum thodi pagal ho, but I didn’t know you are stupid too. Madam, sirf Manik + Nandini are not Manan, Manav + Ananya are also Manan (rolls his eyes)

Ananya: Hawww!! Wow Manav, itna smart idea tumhe kaisa aaya? Tum itne smart dikhte nahi ho?

Manav: Oh hello, I was born smart, education and my wife’s desi show obsession ruined me. (smirks)

Ananya: MANAV!!! (runs towards Manav to hit him but kisses him instead)

Manav: Wow! Chalo, mehnat ka fal is indeed meetha (smacks his lips). Waise Anu, ek kiss se mera kuch nahi honewalla. What say, should we continue this in the bedroom? (winks)

Ananya: (blushes) Kuch toh sharam karo. Mom and dad will be here soon.

Manav: Yaar har bhaar cockblock karna zaroori hai kya? I think instead of Khushi, you should write that book on 100 ways to ruin a romantic moment? (walks away)

Ananya: (screams) You can walk away, but you can’t stay away, Manav. (What is this man up to now? Kuch gadbad hai.) Manav!

Manav: Ek minute (Switches on the radio)

RJ: And our next dedication goes out to Ananya from Mumbai. Happy Holi Ananya, I love you dammit, your loving husband Manav….. (song starts playing)

Uljhi si baatein dil
Mujhse bhi baantein
To mehar.. mehar.. meherbaniya
(Meher.. meher.. meherbaniya)
Khud hi samajh ke mujhe samjha de
To mehar.. mehar.. meherbaniya
(Meher.. meher.. meherbaniya)

Ho meherbani jo dil de zubaani
Keh de wo jo na kabhi kaha hai

Aise Tera Main.. Jaise Mera Tu
Aise Tera Main.. Jaise Mera Tu..

Milte rahe jo aise hi dono
Lag na jaaye ishq ki nazar
Aye dil farebi, tham sa gaya kyun
Aisi waisi baat soch kar

Bas mein na mere ab ye raha hai
Tujh pe aake dil ye jo ruka hai

Aise tera main.. jaise mera tu
Aise tera main.. Jaise mera tu
Jaise Mera Tu..
Aye.. oo.. ee..
Na na.. yea..

(Mehar.. mehar.. meherbani ho)

Fariyad karti phir yaad karti
Sochti hoon tumko baar baar
Na chahatein hain, par chaahte kyun
Tumko yunhi mere aas paas

Kuch bhi nahi hai
Kuch phir bhi hai
Tumse milke dil ko ye laga hai
Aise tera main.. jaise mera tu
Aise tera main.. Jaise mera tu
Jaise mera tu (jaise mera tu..)
Jaise mera tu (jaise mera tu..)
Jaise mera tu (jaise mera tu..)
Hoo hoo.. (jaise mera tu)
Meher.. meher.. meherbaniyan
Jaise mera tu..
Jaise mera tu!

THE END

So I heard that the KY2 Holi sequence indeed turned out to be wet and sizzling hot! LOL, my poor Sankadevi will need a cold shower after watching the episode! 😀

B_V9UcfUcAA0oVI Holi Wallpaper 2015 MbWRROB

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7 thoughts on “Bura Na Maano … Holi Hai …

  1. Happy Holi Elci! :-*

    Awesome stuff! The convos were so nicely done!
    I was like laughing non-stop!
    This husband in the story is so nice! Watches wifeys fav shows with her, throws lil tantrums, but still! knows in and out about the favs!
    I am pretty sure, hum mei se kisi ek ke pati ka yeh hi haal hoga! LOL

    Btw! This college kid romance is getting to you, nahi? So many dialogues from that show? 😀
    Also! Manav = Manik + Arnav & Manav + Ananya = Manan !

    jokes apart! Hope you continue to write!
    lots of love! 🙂

    • Happy Holi!
      Thanks Neha! I’m glad that you enjoyed my story. Let’s hope that we find our Manav too. The poor dude will be like kaha phaas gaya yaar. Hehe.
      I’m gonna ignore the third line!
      It was quite a task to pen down this story. I’ll try to write again soon.
      Jhappis and pappis…

  2. What an awesome Holi gift!! 😚
    You covered the love for many shows here. From IPK to ZGH to KY2..
    I loved the conversations. They were fun, witty and realistic. Manav is so sweet to watch all the favorite shows of Ananya with her. He said that he won’t be doing any romantic stuff for Ananya like those desi tv shows hero but he still did the same. Aur jo woh nahi kar sakta tha like to make jalebis or sing a song he got that done with external help. Aisa sweet husband milna chahiye har ek fangirl ko!! 😉
    Mentions of IPK took me to ArhiWorld again!! I’ll be daydreaming about them for a while.
    PS: I haven’t watched KY2 but the pic shows that it was hot indeed and I know who’s that Sankadevi. 😁

  3. Wow Elci a beautiful and funny story. Very impressive writing skill 👍👍LOL poor hubby 😛 I feel for my future husband 😂😂 I think Ananya is representing fangirls like us ! I loved it ❤

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